He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize