thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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