You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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