We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
we're so committed to being not committed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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