Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's official drugs can't kill me
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
