Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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