i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
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We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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