Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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