I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
