so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
