Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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