so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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