I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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