i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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