My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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