Yo dont text me then not text me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
