you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
