I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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