wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
