Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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