it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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