When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
