I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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