She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
