there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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