Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
