THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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