But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
