She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I had to cum in my sink.
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