He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize