Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize