I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize