the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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