If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING