Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"