if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit