I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
