so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
