I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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