It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
