Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
