Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
