Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have aggressive nipples.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
