I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
