Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
