That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
