Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
