i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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