Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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