I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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