She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
