At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
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Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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