I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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