I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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