my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
