brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
