Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
