She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
These tits shall not be calmed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
