I wanna bring you to show and tell
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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