my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
