Sponge bath it is.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize